Why do we, meaning ladies, spend hours in front of the mirror perfecting our makeup and hair? Why do we stand in our closet full of clothes screaming we don’t have anything to wear for an hour each morning? Why do we spend money on haircuts, expensive makeup, and fabulous designer clothes and accessories?
After several conversations that I have had just within the past week with some of my girlfriends, questions like these keep popping into head after talking with them. We ladies love looking fabulous! I mean, who doesn’t!? Shopping for the perfect outfit with all the accessories, expensive makeup, an awesome haircut, and of course a mani and pedi are things I love! But why? Why do we like these things so much?
At first (and honestly my life) I thought that we just enjoy pampering ourselves. When you are a little girl, you are princess. Princesses have to have all these things to feel pretty. Or that’s what we were all told. Then comes the junior and high school years where you just have to have all the right stuff to fit in with everyone else. Now in college and even into our adult lives we still find excuses of why we need all these fabulous things. However, they are excuses. Still the question remains, why do we…?
Like I mentioned earlier, this past week has been filled with glorious conversations with wonderful and beautiful ladies of all ages. Talking mainly about girl stuff and things going on in life like school, boys, stress, tanning, nail polish, summer, flowers, the Royal Wedding, baking and so on…you know the normal girl stuff! Each lady I talked to the topic of playing a certain role in life came up. After each conversation I really started to think and wonder why we go through all we do to play a certain part. We must wear the perfect outfit, our makeup must be flawless, our hair must look like we just stepped out of the salon, why? Because we are each playing a role in our lives. These roles probably only exist in our head and in no one else’s. Most of my girlfriends told me that these roles were to please someone else, of course that someone else being “their better half.” However, I felt that this role play still wasn’t the true reason behind the question why.
I continued to think. I thought about my own life and why I really feel the need to be perfect all the time. Yes, at times it is to please someone else but ultimately it is fueled by something else. That something else: fear, insecurity. The fear of failing and the idea that I’m not good enough and that I must present myself as perfect as possible to try and covered up my imperfections.
Insecurities just fuel our fears inside. Many girls I talk to have this complete wall of fear in front of them when it comes to guys, a fear of being rejected and not loved by a guy. This is a perfectly good reason to be afraid. I mean, every girl wants to be loved and accepted, not rejected. To coop with this fear we get the idea that if everything is just perfect on the outside maybe we can hide what we are feeling on the inside. Maybe they won’t see the real us. The real us that is so desperately desiring to be loved and accepted while constantly knowing that something about us isn’t perfect.
Just last night, a person that is very special to me told me something that really made me think. I was sharing the struggle of insecurities I have and then the fear that flows from the insecurities. This special person reminded me of the story of David, saying that David had been chosen to be king of Israel. David was the youngest and weakest of his brothers, the unlikely choice; however, God wanted him to rule over His chosen people. Throughout David’s life he failed. He wasn’t perfect. He was far from it! This person who was reminding me of David brought up the book of Psalm in the Bible, stating that as you read it you find David in many emotional states. He was happy and joyful at times and then scared and fearful at other times. David had insecurities. David feared things. David wasn’t perfect. Yet God calls David a man after His own heart.
These insecurities are not going to just go away. Only through prayer and close relationship with your Father will get you through it. He is consistently here to remind you that you aren’t going to be perfect, to stop trying so hard to cover up flaws and hide behind all the things we think shield us. He desires us. He loves us. There is no need to use makeup, clothes, and the rest of our girly stuff to help us be more accepted and loved. He is enough. He sees right through it! And honestly, I find that comforting!
Humbly yours,
His servant
